Love Runs Deep
A fat mole lived in an old mans front lawn. The soil was very fertile so the grubs multiplied voraciously oh to become delicate little feasts. The old man loved that mole and would pet its hairless flesh when he ate too much and had to push out of ground to lay bloated on the dewey green night grass. The old man's wife wanted roll-on grass in the front yard though and she was never denied any thing. He called the Roll-on Grass Co. They said they would come. They were on their way and the old man still didn't know what to do with the mole. He tried to catch it but he knew he'd have to use a baited trap, the roll-on truck was on it's way! The mole was caught and put in the backyard, a bigger juicier garden of eden than the familiar front lawn humble abode. The truck pulled up right as the mole dug in and the old man smiled widely.
The problem with the mole living in the backyard
is what I'm about to tell you. You see, the utopic situation didn't last
long for the next door neighbor liked to loll about on a lawn chair in
the back yard. This is all fine and well except that she often made eagle
eye inspections for deviation. She immediately noticed the mole trails
and it gave her the willies to think about the fleshy stub of the moles
body burrowing around underneath her lawn chair. She began putting hexes
on the mole. The hex list is long and painful to hear and for the mole
it was unbearable trauma. First the neighbor tried to hypnotize the mole
with a large ticking clock to the ground so it would come out of it's
hole and be lead into the kitchen and then into the blender where it would
be blended up. This didn't work so the hex giver boiled 2 beetles and
a praying mantis head and called upon the light of the sun to shine through
the magnifying glass and in turn burn the mole like my brother burned
ants in the sands of California. There were many more horrors, rained
upon the poor mole, atrocities every one. This all sucked so once the
day was done, gone the sun's blinding light, the mole journeyed to a new
dark haven, and the old man never saw the mole again.
"Hey mole, I will get you in the end because I don't like you, ugly. The minute you upset my restful lawn chair peace, you burnt a bridge, moley. I'm not the forgiving type either. You may have gotten away for now but I will conquer you in the end. That's right Love doesn't conquer all, I do. I will get you when you are minding your own business, you will look to the rear for a grub and there I will be glowing and refreshed from my bath, ready to stomp your ugly stump head into the gravel, so there. Don't think you can disuade me either because my life's goal is to stalk the pale ilk of the earth, Yes you mole you. Death wish from above and below and from me. Water torture agony and then, Die."
WAR -N- TOIL
The Hex Giver, Cholar Membie, is somewhat demented from an incident long
ago. 10 years ago, in her youth, she threw her dolls out the window and
became obsessed with a string ball: she bathed it, pet it, why she even
let it tousle in the wind. As a teen, she pulled it through her earring
hole once and wore it like that for several days. It felt "good" inside
her. She even named the string. She called it the Little Bucking Bronco
string because of the way it would jump when she put a straw full of
water on it. It was a very fine thing indeed to watch it jump about.
Life was getting on all right until the day when she was petting Little
Bucking Bronco and the Prissy OLD TOWN GOSSIP (no names) caught her in
the act. Her affiliation with the string ended up being one of the well
known facts of the day, every one laughed at Cholar Membie. They thought
she was foolish, devoting all her time to a mere string. Perhaps she was
foolish but you know with a fools smile the truth can be told. The truth
The truth And the truth was that she was Very capable of romance with
anything, a plant, a cat, even a pet rock, or as in this case, a lovely
string. For Cholar Membie, the Hex Giver, romance was the spice of life,
not in terms of flowers per say, but in terms of passion so hearty that
it encompassed all the boundaries of uplifted spirit.
©1997 and beyond.