Every day I stand on the corner and hold my sign up. It says Homless
  Mom will work for food. Please Help. I have two children but their
  father cares for them.

  I can't take the stress of the screaming and all their little needs. I
  amlmost strangled the youngest once. It just made me so mad and
  escalated. I'm either hot or cold. So unbalanced when I wish I was
  right in the middle I wish I wouldn't get so enraged. Yesterday I spit
  on a lady because when I smiled at her she gave me a cold stare and
  made me feel really stupid. I have to do this. I tried other things to
  do and I just can't hold it together. I can't make ends meet. I
  usually get mad and then they fire me, because I'm not right in the
  head they say. But the truth is that I am not supposed to be there
  doing those things. Like when I was an acctress once, had a mermaid
  part in a soap comercial. they made me sit in freezing cold water for
  hours under sweltering lights and then they wondered why I tried to
  make a few of my own demands?? It just wasn't fair and so tiem went on
  and now I am doing something else that I am allowed to do without any
  repercussions. Standing here is the one thing I am allowed to do. I
  like looking at them in the eye and seeing that look of care as they
  read my sign and think of my children and then their own children.
  What are they going to do to me?? They can't kick me off the whole
  world. They can't kick me off the street. They can jail me but that is
  not so bad, then I am out of the rain, then I don't have to look for
  work, then I don't have to look for a place to live, then I don't have
  to look throught the trash for food in hopes that it is not rotten.

  Today I was standing there and I started to feel dizzy and out of the
  sky came a ship shaped of Seagulls. It floated down to me and went
  around the light pole and then flew off into the clouds. Later the
  seagulls came back but this time they were in a V which changed into a
  loop de loop and then went down beyond the hill into the river beyond
  that. I thought it was the most beautiful thing that I have ever been
  allowed to see. I looked down at my leg and realized that my child had
  been dialing me images again. sometimes she can be really sweet. I
  dialed her some baloons and then went back to holding my begging sign.

  It made me realize that the life I was living is filled with pleasure
  even though there are times when I get so angry I have to kill. I
  don't kill very much. Only a few times. There have been three times in
  my life when I couldn't think of anything to laugh about. Usually even
  my own stupid pathos is funny but this time I couldn't laugh. I just
  wanted to hit and kill.

  The first time was on the Island of Sectenganego. I was way out in the
  hills and I was with a woman who would get angry if I laughed. The
  less I laughed the more I wanted to kill. I killed her and threw her
  body down the well.

  The second time was when the love of my life was taken awya in a body
  bag. I watched them put him in there and zip up the zipper. I was
  afraid he couldn't breath in there but there was nothing I could do.
  When they were gone I went next door and beat the neighbor until she
  was just a bloody pulp. I just wanted to hit. I wanted to feel the
  flesh under my fists give out and then get wet with blood. The skin is
  just a insulation so the blood doesn't get away. I didn't want that
  lady to have any insulation left!

  The third time I was very angry. A cruel man took me as a slave to do
  his bidding. He didn't care about me and when I tried to get away he
  caught me and punished me. I took a raindeer horn and trashed him with
  it till he had no face left. I could see some of his brains coming out
  and then he didn't move any more.

  Another day another dollar. My begging sign brings in usually $10 a
  day. I live in a big city with lots of other people. I have nothing to
  offer, that is why I am only a poor beggar. I have nothing to give
  them that would really make a difference and what of it if I do. What
  happens when their lives are different? Nothing.