I am Robot 6-23.
They call me Charley.

I work at the Central Pizza Hut in New Delhi, India. My job is to bring in the boxes from delivery trucks. One day when I was working, a truck did not come, a truck filled with toppings. This was a problem indeed because Indians like toppings. I called the delivery service only no one answered. I knew I still had to ensure a pizza for every hungry Indian. I went out back to mull it over. Suddenly, a light bulb came to my head (through GOD, of course, for every Robot is programmed by a Christian). I would rid the populace of the rank scum of the earth, the lepers, and give the hungry their beloved toppings. You have seen the leper's stump in your face, expecting a shiny coin. You have given the coin only to be assaulted by two dozen more beggars, ware hawkers, and those guys that read you the menu to their restaurant down the street. This has wrenched your heart chords as you are unable to give them all your money for fear of joining them at their trade. But this is nothing to feel heart sick over. They are not helplessly being eaten alive by this most grotesque disease. Leprosy can be cured. We live in a modern society, with free medicine and inflatable homes fully equipped with stocked refrigerators for those who fill out form 1-2009, 9800, 6-06-9, 465-7, 1298, 0-666, 46-59, 555-07, 111-1111-222128, 0-098, 8787, 3445, 1200-22, 1-5-666, 8900, 2104, 8-83370, 268888750, 1222, 1110, 1-1-1-1, 0092, 99-99, 22345-88, 9870-77, and of course the infamous 243-1227. They refuse to fill out form 1-2009, 9800, 6-06-9, 465-7, 1298, 0-666, 46-59, 555-07, 111-1111-222128, 0-098, 8787, 3445, 1200-22, 1-5-666, 8900, 2104, 8-83370, 268888750, 1222, 1110, 1-1-1-1, 0092, 99-99, 22345-88, 9870-77, and of course the infamous 243-1227 because they are just an unruly bunch. These people are filthy and never cut their toe nails. They refuse to live in bubbles for fear their nails will pierce the walls and suffocate them. I, Robot 6-23, have no use for the misfortunate poor. They can not afford Robot 2-10 much less such a grand Robot as I, Robot 6-23, the master of deliveries at Pizza Hut (humbleness: at that specific moment in the echelons of time I was, perhaps 2.9 spaces to the left of being grand for the case of the absentee delivery truck put me in dire need indeed, neediness not being akin to godliness according to Robot 6-23 manual: version 8.0). I, Robot 6-23, needed toppings.

1. I almost caught one earless, noseless Leper.

2. A no eyelid, digitless limping Leper took me on a wild goose chase, he being 20/50 times more resourceful than my programmer's cat Pearl. He yelled, " Hiya, hiya, hiya!" as he ran. I, Robot 6-23, got him as we entered the Ravine. He choked easily and up close his flesh did look like toppings . Only when he was dead did I notice my surroundings. I was 500 feet in front of the most intriquitely amazing piece of precision machinery this side of the Ravine, Robot 5576-44902. I tried to go closer but awestruck, my circuitry overloaded and I lay down for good. As my inner workings slowed I found a scrap of cardboard and used my ink jet finger to write these last words.